Every Monday morning is bonding time for me and Matt. Since we cannot afford yet to pay a helper and nanny at the same time, our nanny whom I'm thankful for so much is an all around wonder woman. So every Monday morning, while nanny washes our clothes and prepare our food, I would spend time bathing, feeding and playing with my little boy. Every Monday we have the same routine. But yesterday was a different one. Matt for some reason does not want to sleep. He just want to play and play while I on the other hand would like to jump on my bed and watch the Lifestyle channel. And the only way to do that is to put Matt to sleep so I'll have at least 1-2 hours of rest. So after doing everything I could to put him to sleep, I just gave up and put him on the floor and I sat down on the floor too just looking at him, not saying a word or two, no reactions whatsoever. He looked at me back with an NR (no reaction) face as well then he walked to the door signaling that he wants to go out. Of course he can't speak yet so he will just look at me and touch the door knob and look at me again. I did the same thing looking at him without any words and no reactions at all. Then he came to me and look at me straight to my eyes. I did the same. Then after a while, he looked at me again then put his head on top of my lap as if he was sleeping. While his head was on top of my lap, I didn't touch him nor talk to him. I sat there waiting for his next move. Then an amazing thing happened. Matt leaned towards me and put his head on my chest and smiled. My heart wants to melt. This is so amazing. My little one year old can sense what I feel and what is going on without me shouting or saying a word. I just hugged my baby and let him feel I did not intend to be indifferent nor did I lose my love for him. He is so special and I will always love him without any "buts".
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